Yoni Massage Therapy Seattle Based – How Receiving Yoni Massage Helped Me to Better Communicate with my Husband about Pleasure:
My husband and I had been married for about three years, and I had realized that I found our sexual engagement to be really limited. I so rarely felt sexy and deeply involved in our intimacy. There were things I wanted to do and try with him, but I had no idea how to talk to him about it.
He and I had both been extremely sexually inexperienced when we got married. Our explorations had been awkward and shy, and, honestly, a bit embarrassing for both of us, I think. He wanted to give me pleasure, but so often he would shut down in frustration instead of acknowledging that he really didn’t know what he was doing.
The truth was, I didn’t really know how to help him better understand what I needed from him in order to experience pleasure. I felt he was so attached to the idea of “doing a good job” for me, that he often would not even bother to try, for fear of failure.
If I’m being brutally honest, I started to fake my enjoyment for him, because I felt the pressure of how badly he wanted the outcome of me enjoying myself. I felt it was just easier if I gave him the outcome he wanted, instead of embarrassing him by correcting what he was doing and asking for something different.
Three years into our marriage, I had done this so much that he thought he was perfectly adequate at satisfying me and giving me pleasure, but the truth was that I felt completely unsatisfied and unseen in my deep need for pleasure. The truth was, I hadn’t acknowledged to myself how deep that need really was.
After three years of pretending, I was done. I was fully acknowledging that I had been burying and denying the need that I felt, and I wanted to shift things between my husband and I. I wanted to create a new relationship to my pleasure, and I wanted a new way to engage with it with him.
Yoni Massage Therapy Seattle Based
This is when I discovered the existence of yoni massage. I searched for a yoni massage therapy Seattle based place. I found a website for a local yoni massage business, and learned that this yoni massage practitioner was happy to demonstrate for husbands how to give a yoni massage to their wives.
I watched videos on his website of slow and sensual massage practices that culminated in what looked to be deeply satisfying orgasms for these women. I wondered if this kind of pleasure practice might be the key to allowing me to experience real orgasms in the company of my husband.
When I decided to share this idea with my husband, I realized that I was going to have to fess up to the mistakes I had been making during our intimacy – the ways I had allowed him to believe he was satisfying me when really, he wasn’t.
When I told him this truth, he was really upset and hurt at first. He couldn’t understand why I hadn’t been honest with him from the start. I explained how I felt motivated to please him and make him feel good about his performance, and I apologized for disregarding my own experience in order to do so. It wasn’t fair to either one of us!
I showed my husband a couple yoni massage videos. I explained to him that I was interested in this practice to discover more about what was actually pleasurable for me, and what would help me to have real, deep, satisfying orgasms. I asked him if he would be willing to explore learning about it?
I proposed that he could come to a yoni massage appointment with me and we could learn together through the yoni massage practitioner what is most effectively pleasurable for me. I acknowledged that it was a huge stretch for both of us, but that I was really hankering for a change in our sexual relationship. I couldn’t continue on unsatisfied.
My husband agreed to attend the appointment with me and we set it up. When we arrived, I was super nervous, but also so excited to explore what was possible for me. And, for the first time in my life, I was going to be at the center of attention of two men. That felt extremely erotic.
With the yoni massage practitioner, we discussed our goal of learning how to better communicate and be on the same page around pleasure. I wanted to learn how to ask for exactly what I want from my husband, and how to communicate it in a way that he could receive.
We began by discussing how important it was to get clear around what I actually desired when it came to pleasure. For some reason, it was much easier to give clear instruction to the yoni massage practitioner around what I wanted to experience sexually than it was with my husband. With the yoni massage practitioner, all I had to do was peruse a menu of experiences, and decide which sounded appealing and which I felt a bit repelled by.
In this more professional setting, it was actually a lot easier to gain clarity around what sounded good to me, and what sounded like it might not be so enjoyable. It felt easier to voice it, as well, almost like I was ordering it off of menu at a restaurant. It didn’t feel so tangled up in complicated emotions.
After the yoni massage practitioner and I had discussed my desires, he asked my husband if he had any questions or concerns. My husband was a bit nervous and uncomfortable, but he said he was there to learn and willing to be with his discomfort.
I removed my clothes and laid face down on the massage table. The yoni massage practitioner massaged my whole body in long, slow, sensual strokes. At first, there was no teasing, only lovely relaxing touch. Even this was something new, and not something that my husband and I had engaged with much. I told my husband that I loved how the slow, relaxing touch felt.
When I was fully relaxed, I began to feel a deep tingle of pleasure throughout my body. The sensation under the yoni massage practitioner’s hands intensified. My whole body felt electric.
That was when he began to tease me by sweeping his touch closer and closer to my genitals, just barely grazing them at times. My breathing increased, and so did my husband’s as he watched my level of turn on rise.
The yoni massage practitioner asked me to turn over onto my back. He ran his hands over the length of my body, sweeping gently across my breasts, and he pulled my legs apart, exposing my pussy. He swept his touch along my inner thighs, coming achingly close to my pussy.
I could tell that my husband was turned on while watching my turn on increase. He stared intently as the yoni massage practitioner began to tease my clit, and stroke my labia. The amount of pleasure I was feeling in my pussy was building intensely.
The yoni massage practitioner slowly gave more and more attention to my clit and he slid his finger inside my pussy. I writhed and moaned while he concentrated his efforts on my yoni, until I had a huge, full-body quaking orgasm.
After my husband and I returned home from the appointment, it was like our ability to talk about these things and connect around pleasure had been unlocked. He shared what his experience had been like in observing me, he shared that he saw lots of things he wanted to try. I shared all the things that allowed me to feel deeper pleasure than I had experienced before.
Over the following weeks, we continued to talk about pleasure, and to experiment with the different techniques that the yoni massage practitioner had demonstrated. My husband was finally able to give me a real orgasm, and I didn’t have to pretend anymore. It was so liberating and felt delicious!
On top of that, all of the awkwardness between us when it came to our intimate engagement had melted away. We were now about to talk about sex and pleasure without being weird or avoidant about it. In fact, talking about it was beginning to feel quite sexy!
Receiving a yoni massage dramatically shifted the experience of pleasure in my marriage. I became clear around the kind of touch and stimulation I truly enjoy, and my husband learned exactly what I find pleasurable. Our relationship has become so much deeper and more connected since we began connecting with each other’s bodies this way, and discussing our desires and our pleasure.
Yoni massage healed a giant rift in my relationship – it allowed us to directly communicate in a new way, and life between us has not been the same since. I’m so glad I searched for a yoni massage therapy Seattle based place so we could engage with each other in this new way.